Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
