just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
