dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize