Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
