I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
