Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
