It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
This toilet bowl is my home.
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