when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
