You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
