just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
