I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
