Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
