i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
