You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
