Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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