all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
