You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Found your dick twin last night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
