I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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