i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
