...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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