Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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