Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
