At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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