How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
