ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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