The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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