so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
