giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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