he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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