I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
