My brain says no but my pants say off.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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