you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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