apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
