I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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