white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
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At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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