They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
