sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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