I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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