I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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