Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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