I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
