not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
