I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
