I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
