Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
