youre lurking in front of me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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