whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
