grandma shit on top of the toilet
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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