he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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