Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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