Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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