Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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