so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
