True but thats because hes a fetus.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize