Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
