i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
