Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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