You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ladies don't puke and tell
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
