you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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