Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
