I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize