its not stalking. its research.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
