I'm so fucking centered right now
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize