This girl is more easily done than said...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
