HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
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Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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